Letting Go (No, Not “Let It Go”)

Ft. Miso Eggplant recipe

I have to say what a privilege it’s been to read the stories sent in so far as part of our eBook project You Are Not Alone. Matt and I have been overwhelmed and at times brought to tears by the courage people have shown, sharing personal and difficult stories with us. I can honestly say that being able to connect with fellow ED sufferers has been the most inspirational and encouraging aspect of my journey so far. So thank you. Really.

Starting mindfoodly has not only allowed us to connect with new friends all over Australia and the world (which is still so crazy cool to me), it’s also enabled me to personally strengthen bonds and reestablish relationships with people in my own life.

I was lucky enough recently to be contacted by my friend Eliza, who I’d lost touch with over the years.  We got the chance to catch up a few weeks ago and chat about how she recovered from an eating disorder herself.

We talked about how she’s living a life of freedom since recovering, and her inspiring story spoke directly to many of the fears I’ve had lately. In particular, she emphasised how important it was to let go of ALL rules and actively choose to not listen to the ED every time you make a decision.

It was exactly what I needed to hear. I still consider myself as recovering, but when we met up  I wasn’t actively moving forward or taking any ground in my fight against the ED. I was standing still. What Eliza said made me realise I needed to start moving again.

So after chatting with Matt I decided that as of that moment I was going to let go of all my rules. No more “You have to eat salad on this day” or “You can only have this meal for breakfast at work” (for me many of the ED’s rules and restrictions apply only on weekdays, for whatever reason!).

That was three weeks ago and since then I’ve ditched a lot of the ridiculous rules I was following (if you follow mindfoodly on Instagram you may have seen some of my rule breaking in action). But, as with everything in recovery, it’s a process. I wish I could say the motivation to make a change was enough to immediately stop all the ED thoughts, but unfortunately that’s not how it works—for me anyway. I still struggle and occasionally give in to ED rules and the comfort they promise to provide (the fact that these promises always turn out to be hollow doesn’t seem to stop me falling for them, but I am getting better at choosing not to believe them).

I haven’t fully let go just yet, but already I’m feeling lighter and more free as the heavy burden of submitting to ED rules slowly breaks off me. This feeling, coupled with Eliza’s words of encouragement still echoing in my head, is giving me the strength I need to keep fighting.

We want to know, how have you “let go” in your recovery journey? And if you haven’t yet, have you thought about what’s stopping you?


PS You might remember during our trip to Melbourne we tried miso eggplant for the first time. Well, ever since we’ve been dying to eat it again so Kate came up with this little recipe. It’s not exactly the same, but it’s damn good!

Miso Eggplant

Serves 4 as a side dish

miso-eggplant-ingredients

Ingredients

2 eggplants
2 tbs mirin
2 tbs sake
1/4 cup of shiro miso
1 tsp honey (more to taste)
1 tsp sesame or coconut oil
Dash of water
Sprinkling of sesame seeds

Method

Step 1: Stir fry eggplant in a wok over a high heat until browned and softened.

Step 2: Mix all ingredients together except the sesame seeds.

Step 3: Place miso sauce on eggplant and stir through. Reduce the heat and leave for 15 minutes (or untill cooked through). Continue to stir throughout to avoid the eggplant sticking to the pan.

Step 4: Toast sesame seeds and place over cooked eggplant. Serve.

miso-eggplant-wok

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7 thoughts on “Letting Go (No, Not “Let It Go”)

  1. Kara says:

    It’s funny – I don’t know if I have an eating disorder but I definitely suffer from disordered eating. I’ve never consciously thought about the fact I have ‘rules’ around my eating until I came across your blog. For example – I HAVE to have 3 ‘very low carb’ days per week, and they have to be on certain days (Mon/Weds/Fri although used to be Wed/Fri/Sun), and I would freak if I had to change those days or was out and couldn’t control what I was eating etc. Eating rice/pasta/wheat/sweet potato on a low carb day would send me into a panic attack. Fruit? Forget it!

    My other rules are around my calorie intake and macros etc. I hadn’t realised I was getting more and more rigid. Amazing how it just sneaks up on you! Now my body fights back and I cycle from super strict rigid eating to binging. Ugh, it’s awful

    Thank you for sharing your story, it’s helping me realise some of the unhealthy things I myself am doing, that I didn’t even realise were an issue.

    Liked by 1 person

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