In a couple of days Kate and I are off to Hawaii. It’s so exciting to know we’ll soon be relaxing together on the sandy beaches of one of the world’s most famous holiday destinations. We’ve heard amazing things from our friends and family and we can’t wait to check it out for ourselves.
The last time we went away was for our honeymoon and the year since then has been a big one. We’ve faced new challenges and tackled some of our toughest recovery moments yet. We also launched mindfoodly and made some incredible friends in the ED and health communities. All this while navigating our first year as a married couple. We’re not complaining, but we’d by lying if we said we haven’t been counting the days to our “second honeymoon”!
While ten nights in Fiji was exactly what we needed after the craziness that is even the most chilled wedding (and ours was especially chilled, thanks to my beautiful anti-bridezilla), it wasn’t exactly the honeymoon we’d been dreaming of.
On the surface it ticked all the boxes:
- Beautiful location? Tick.
- Good weather? Tick.
- Time alone? Tick.
But scratch a little deeper and it’s obvious things weren’t quite so perfect. Here are a few of the honeymoon activities Kate couldn’t enjoy thanks to the ED:
- Sipping cocktails at sunset
- Swimming in the hotel pool
- Taking a break from regimented exercise
- Ordering tasty poolside snacks
- Eating dessert whenever she felt like it
Don’t get me wrong— I’m so proud of how strong Kate was in the face of what was an incredibly confronting challenge. She fought tooth and nail to enjoy our honeymoon, desperately afraid that she would ruin it for me (as if she could!). But while we still had a great time we both agree that our ideal couple’s getaway would probably include a little more swimming, eating, drinking and relaxing.
That’s why we’re so excited for our Hawaiian holiday. And it’s even more exciting for me as I look forward to Kate getting the honeymoon she deserves.
While most of can unwind at night or on the weekend, Kate almost never gets a chance to relax. While I zone out in front of the TV, she’s waging war inside her head. This is the reality of life with an eating disorder. What I’ve come to realise though is that however hard this is on me it’s infinitely more oppressive, relentless and suffocating for Kate. I know every one of you who follows this blog and our Facebook and Instagram accounts are right behind Kate, showing her unbelievable support (you’re all amazing by the way). And I promise you she is even more incredible in real life. She really is a recovery warrior!
We’ve said it before, but it’s worth repeating: people do not choose eating disorders. It doesn’t matter how or why they begin—people do not choose to give up their freedom, devastate their loved ones or destroy their bodies. It’s called a disorder for a reason. Kate didn’t choose to miss out on fully enjoying our first honeymoon; it was taken from her. EDs are always uninvited guests, and they’re not a part of God’s design. Thankfully with his help and the support of our recovery team (and all of you of course!) Kate’s eating disorder is less a part of our lives every day.
So it gives me great pleasure to say we’re now in a place where it doesn’t seem naive to look forward to 10 days of blissful sunshine, mouth-watering meals and plenty of fun activities. I can’t wait to cement the progress Kate’s made so far and make a huge dent in the obstacles still in her path. Learning from our first honeymoon, we’ve put together a dedicated list of all the recovery goals Kate wants to achieve this time. We’re taking aim at everything from fear foods to exercise, and I know this is going to be the honeymoon she deserves.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some packing to do. Aloha!