Today I wanted to share a quick post on how grateful I am to have experienced the ED.
I know this may seem odd and as hellish as this whole experience has been (and at times continues to be) I know that as I come closer to completing this journey I’m coming out of this a better and stronger wife, daughter, sister and friend.
The eating disorder has made me really appreciate the small things in life. It’s help me to be more content, and forced me to completely reassess what I consider important and what I prioritise. I used to hold on so tightly to what people thought of me—my fitness, my education, my appearance and other materialistic worldly things that really don’t matter. The ED has not only helped me see the fault in elevating these aspects of life, but also made me work continuously on breaking their hold over me.
I realise now that my significance and value has nothing to do with how I look, or how controlled and disciplined I am. Instead, it has everything to do with who I am as a person and how I treat people. I’m still a ways off believing my real value in life but I am so much more aware and closer to it then I was before my ED journey began.
Now I know that I will never settle for a life where I’m comfortable dipping a toe into the waters of disordered eating. I’ll never settle for a life where food, exercise and control take the place of love and freedom. And I’ll never settle for being less than the woman God made me to be.
With that said, today I’d like to share with you what I’m most grateful for right now:
- My amazing husband, parents and family who have been there for me with unfailing love and commitment no matter what I put them through.
- The beautiful people I’ve met through Mindfoodly. I’ve been so privileged to hear their stories and be invited into their lives.
- The amazing group of professionals I’ve worked with throughout my recovery.
- My new perspective on health and what I actually consider to be healthy (mind, body and soul).
- My new approach to food, knowing there should never be any rules or good or bad labels.
- My newfound freedom in life where I’m learning that I’m never going to be in total control and that’s okay.
- My faith and the continual hope I find in God.
The things I’ve learned from living with an eating disorder have changed me for the better. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t wish an ED on anyone and I certainly wouldn’t recommend it. But whether you’re going through an ED right now or have stumbled upon this blog I hope you can draw some encouragement from my experience and benefit from the lessons I’ve learned without going through the pain.