Lately we’ve been getting lots of emails and messages from people struggling to recover. Many of you have asked “Why should I recover?” “What’s the point?” and questioned whether you deserve to live free of the eating disorder. I know what it’s like to feel as though you’re not worthy enough to recover and enjoy life the way everyone else does, but I can assure you we are all worthy. We all deserve to be free of the ED and live a happy, healthy and full life.
Everybody has different reasons to recover and I want to share a few of mine. It might help you to think about your life and realise that recovery is worth it, and that the decision to begin recovery is one of the best you’ll ever make.
1. Recover for your loved ones
You’ve all heard it before, but when I started on my recovery journey I wasn’t doing it for myself, I was doing it for my family. I could see how much it hurt them and I really didn’t want to be a burden on them anymore. I’m incredibly lucky to have a great relationship with my family, but if yours is not quite where you wish it was, you can still find motivation to recover in your loved ones. Think about your friends or even the friends you’ve made through the ED family you’re now a part of. Even if doesn’t always feel like it, you are loved and no one wants to see you in the grips of an eating disorder.
2. Recover for your body
The further along my recovery journey I get the more I’m learning how amazing our bodies are and how important it is to nourish them daily. It’s given me a whole new respect for how our bodies function and made me never want to treat this body I’ve been blessed with in a negative way again. You might have seen this quote before, but I love it and have found it so true for me:
3. Recover to regain control
Recovery has also given me the strength and courage to take back control of my life. Throughout my recovery I completely lost myself – lost sight of my goals and the ability to just be me. Even though I’m not yet fully recovered, the steps I’ve taken so far have already helped my find myself again. I feel like my old self and (most of the time – I’m far from perfect) make the decisions about who I want to be and what I want to do.
4. Recover to enjoy life
One of the best things about recovery is getting to enjoy all of the little things you never could have imagined enjoying when the ED was firmly in control. Things like spontaneous lunches, multiple coffees, eating out, glasses of wine, parties and basically everything the average person enjoys.
5. Recover to be free
This is the biggest reason I have to recover. I’m not totally free of the ED just yet. But I have more freedom than I did six months ago, 12 months ago and certainly more than I did at the start of my journey. Living in freedom feels like a crushing, suffocating weight has been lifted off me and I can finally breathe, think and just be again. God did not give us this life to be a slave to rules and restrictions, thanks to his Son he gave us a life to live in freedom!
I could go on and on with this post but I’ll wrap it up here. I know how hard it is to even begin to let go of the ED. I remember my first step in recovery and the fear and anxiety I had about what recovery would mean. Honestly, I didn’t believe it was possible for me to recover. I felt like there was no reason to fight the ED and that even if there was I sure as hell didn’t deserve to live a life free from its rules. This will come as no huge shock, but I’m pleased to tell you that I no longer think that way. I know now that full recovery is possible and that I deserve it – just like you do!
We all have a reason to recover. What’s yours?