Better Birthdays

Last Monday we celebrated my 24th birthday and it’s safe to say it was the best one yet. Birthdays—along with the rest of life—are so much more enjoyable and fun the closer I get to full recovery. What used to be a day full of guilt, anxiety and restriction was this year a day of fun, relaxation and delicious food.

This year, for the first time ever, I gave up complete control of my birthday. Matt and I decided that it would be a good opportunity to work on my issues of control, so he would organise everything and I would have no idea what I was doing until the day. Although this decision left me feeling a little anxious, it was also super freeing. And because I didn’t know what was happening or what I would be eating, I really didn’t have that desire to compensate or restrict (the way I previously would have) in the lead up to my birthday.

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On the morning of my birthday Matt gave me a birthday card (featuring his new favourite card character, Boofle the dog!). As well as a lovely, encouraging message it included my schedule for the day. Matt had planned everything for me—from breakfast right through to dinner and dessert. There was a point in the afternoon where I freaked out a little at the barrage of ED lies flying around my head (“This is going to make you gain weight”, “You can’t trust other people”, etc.), but after chatting through them all with Matt I felt much better and was able to enjoy all the day’s activities.

Without further ado, here is the schedule:

9am: Breakfast at my favourite cafe with my mum and dad

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12pm: Hot stone massage

1pm: My choice of lunch whilst watching Made in Chelsea (my favourite binge TV)

3pm: Relaxation/Quiet time- I got some reading done, went for a stroll at the beach and completely chilled out

7.30pm- Dinner at The Lagoon Seafood Restaurant 

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As with seemingly everything lately, my birthday this year showed me how much better life can be without the ED and how much better it will be when I am fully recovered. It encouraged me to keep on going and reach my end goal. It also made me realise how blessed I am to have the most thoughtful, supportive and loving husband any girl could ever hope for.

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PS. While not technically my birthday, we celebrated again the next day with the rest of my family. I’m lucky to have a birthday that always falls before a public holiday, so this Australia Day we enjoyed a delicious Middle Eastern feast cooked by my dad and ended with these delicious red velvet and oreo cookie cupcakes! (Just one more thing I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy when the ED controlled things!)

 

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11 thoughts on “Better Birthdays

  1. E says:

    You are such a inspiration!! I hope one day to get to that point in my recovery. At the moment, a lovely day like that would be horrible as the week before and after would be spent compensating for it, my entire life on hold just to make up for eating. Thank you so much for all your posts, they give me hope that I can recover some day and it feels great to know I’m not the only one fighting this awful illness.

    Like

  2. Lyss says:

    So so happy you had a great birthday! Glad that you felt free and put the control in someone else’s hands rather than your eating disorders’s- that is such a big step! Those cupcakes look delish too, hope you enjoyed every bite of them 🙂 xoxo ❤

    Like

  3. krayolablue91 says:

    Glad you could enjoy it. Birthdays, for the last nine years or so have been huge sources of stress for me, which also tends to signify the start of the holiday season and even more stress! I do hope at some point that can lessen.

    Like

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