How to Completely Let Go…

I’ve been struggling for a while now with the idea of completely letting go of all control around food and exercise. I want so badly to be in tune with my body. To trust it. To listen to it. To provide what it wants, when it wants it. But I just don’t know how.

It’s hard to explain to anyone who’s never personally experienced life with an ED. As with any mental illness, I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand the battles that go on inside the head without going through it yourself (not something I recommend!). But there is such comfort in the control we have around food and exercise that to let go of it is one of the scariest things we could imagine. I know this sounds silly and really the obvious answer is to “just do it”, but the fear can be paralysing.

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Unrelated photo but it’s National Donut Day and, I mean, who doesn’t love a donut!

I’m not giving up by any means. I know that full recovery is possible (thanks to lovely people like Kylie Mitchell and Hayley Blake), but I need to work out how to get there and which path is right for me. So for me, for now, it’s all about going back to the drawing board. I’m focusing on the basics and taking it step by step, day by day. I know if I keep working at it, and taking all my worries and anxieties to God, I’ll come out of this in a place of freedom.

As always, if you have any helpful hints, resources or just encouraging words/stories, please feel free to get in contact with us, we love hearing from you all!

P.S. We’ve had a few enquiries about the delicious Daal I cooked up at the start of the week. I used this recipe but added a veggie stock cube, an extra cup of water and around a 1/3 cup of coconut milk. Enjoying daalings!

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8 thoughts on “How to Completely Let Go…

  1. superfitbabe says:

    I understand what it feels like to be “stuck” somewhere that is harming you physically and emotionally. It’s ultimately how I decided to start getting into health and fitness while changing my mindset on life and myself in general! But I know that you can do it–the journey is never easy but you get stronger. If you need to talk or any support, please let me know and I will be here for you!

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  2. Jo says:

    Hi Kate, I’ve been reading your blog and following your Instagram for a while now and can really relate to what you say and have gone through.
    I am sure you are familiar with personal development books already but I would say the single biggest impact on my mindset has been in reading.
    Some of the best books I’ve read that help me have been by Jack Canfield (the success principles is my favourite) and David Hamilton (a Scottish author) who wrote a book called ‘I heart me’ . These are not books that relate to eating disorders but more about the things that hold us back on general. I’ve read so many PD books I can’t count but reading 10 pages of a positive book every day makes all the difference for me. Hope this helps 🙂

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  3. Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella says:

    I think it is one of the hardest things to do quite honestly. Just imagine how many people are on diets and no longer listen to their bodies. It’s very hard to recondition yourself back to when you were little and you had a different relationship to food.

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  4. mylittletablespoon says:

    “Just do it” is probably the least helpful and least possible strategy there is out there. Oh how I wish it that simple. Even I have, on many occasions, told myself these words and truly thought I could just set all those old habits aside and “just do it.” But funny how it never works out. And in my case, usually backfires.
    That is just proof that this runs far deeper than we even like to admit. And so with that we have to understand that what took years and years of habit forming and self conditioning is going to take just as long to slowly unwind. Even if you are not feeling it, I know you are making progress – more than you think (but don’t worry when someone tells me this same thing I usually scoff at it). As much as we need to be proactive and work hard towards our goals each day, there must also be a level of compassion and patience with ourselves. If we continue to strive to create a life we love and fill our days with things that make us happy, then our control over food will get weaker and weaker. But it will take time.
    Wish I could take it away for you, but just know you are not alone.

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